Dear Single Parents...

Dear single mamas and daddies,

You probably didn't wake up to breakfast in bed, maybe your little one isn't even old enough to understand. You've gone about your Sunday as you would any Sunday. There is still work to do and a child to be cared for.

I see you over there.

I see you everyday, doing it all alone. I'm proud of you. You're doing it and doing it well. Needing to cry sometimes doesn't mean you failed. I know it's hard but I also know that sweet baby's smile is worth it.

So in honor of all the hard work you do, thank you.

Love always,

A fellow single mom

Because One Small Kindness Can Save The World...

I Have Done SomethingI looked at all the caged animals in the shelter...the cast-offs of human society.
I saw in their eyes love and hope, fear and dread, sadness, and betrayal. And I was angry.
"God," I said, "this is terrible! Why don't you do something?"
God was silent for a moment, and then He spoke softly, "I have done something," he replied. "I created you."-- Author Unknown"Saving the life of one animal may not change the world, but the world will surely change for that one animal"

Dawn on Day 1

Last year, in February 2012, mom found Dawn. She was the beginning. There have been babies we've cared for and love for nearly my entire life who we have rescued and kept, passed on for another family to love or, on a few sad instances, helped to cross the Rainbow Bridge. Dawn was different. She challenged mom even more. She was the spark that lit her fire. Right there that day, Fighting For Dawn began.

Dawn 2.5 weeks later

Through much hard work, and much help from others too, Mom was able to make Fighting For Dawn an official animal rescue foundation at the end of last year, 2012. FFD has helped so many animals since it's very beginning with Dawn, then Martin, and on and on. At last count there were 21 directly through our family alone, about 14 in other rescues. FFD has reached out and help so many animals and opened so many hearts to the love an animal can bring- and the love my mom taught me growing up as a rescuer. I can't imagine any other upbringing.

Dawn 3 months later...

If I could count the number of animals the love my parents has helped, I'd be counting for days. I can't remember the endless number of animals we've helped- either transporting on a leg of their trip across the country; bottle feeding an orphaned baby; bandaging wounds of hit, beaten, and even shot animals; sometimes just holding them as they crossed the Rainbow Bridge (because no one should ever die alone and feeling unloved). We're going to have a serious herd of animals coming to greet us when we cross over the Rainbow Bridge. The love and compassion my parents have taught me towards life has made me a better person and a better mother.

The Queen now!

Then there are you guys. You have helped us monetarily, with food, with old blankets and bedding, with transport, with medication and vitamins, and even with your heartfelt prayers. Your words of encouragement are like gold. Without all of you there would be no Fighting For Dawn. We couldn't do this without you. Dawn is the heart and the purpose but you are the lifeblood. I've met such nice and amazing people through this dream come true. There are truly no words I can express to say how much you mean to us- to me. I know you don't see me as much, Dawn's Oldest Sister, but still... I'm forever grateful for each and every single one of you.

And now we're an official, licensed rescue. We received our license just today. So many years, tears, and lives saved and our dream has come true. Mom's biggest dream. Now we can help even more and reach out even farther. Our hearts are joyous and overflowing. What happy, fantastic, amazing day.



Love from all of us-

Denise, David, Elizabeth, Hannah, Charlie, Emmy, and, of course, Dawn.

Tired But Happy

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

I'm tired tonight. This dress I'm making is kicking my butt mentally and physically. The puffy sleeves are HARD and my sciatic nerve is acting up from sitting there trying to figure it out. Today Emmy played a bit to herself and watched me a while so I could get a little work done. This evening Mom and Hannah came to visit and Michael came by shortly to pick up Hannah. Emmy was very happy to see him. Here are pics from today. Really too tired to post more than this... But I must say I do love my job.

Totally took a pic of my hand. Talent, ladies and gents!

Michael is a goofball

Emmy is a goofball too...

But aren't they both too cute??

USE ALL THE PINS!!!!!

Big Temporal Tipping Points

"And then there are Saturdays, big temporal tipping points when anything is possible."

-The 10th Doctor 

Saturday, September 29, 2012 was one of the greatest days in my life. I've finished my CAPPA labor doula workshop and I can start attending births officially as a doula now. Let me just say that I am so giddy to get started. The class was two days, Friday and Saturday. I feel like my life has been changed. It's another step to check off on my big list of dreams.

Often, I run across people who have no idea what a doula, also called a birthing assistant, is. Doula is a word meaning servant in Ancient Greek. A doula's role is to serve the mother, and sometimes the partner, in the role that is needed during the time which the woman is giving birth to a child. She educates, supports emotionally and physically, and helps to insure the family has the tools required to have a safe and empowering birth.

Birth is a long, and sometimes scary, process- especially for the first time mom that doesn't really know what to expect. No book, childbirth education class, or story shared from another mother can never fully prepare you for what birth is- the amazingness. Not only will giving birth affect the mother physically, it will also affect her mentally. She has to learn to trust her body to do what it was designed to do without her having even the slightest bit of control over it. She also has to completely surrender herself to the care of her support team, such as her partner and doula, to ensure that her environment stays safe around her. That can be unsettling. Laboring will take all her focus and strength. Often, taking on this role as the support person can be tough for the partner to do alone. They must tend to every need of their laboring partner as well as their own needs- such as eating, using the bathroom, or resting. Remembering all the comfort techniques and aids to help their laboring partner is hard as well when they're unsure of the change happening as well. This is where a doula comes in.

To the laboring mother and scared partner a doula is a friend, companion, counselor, fountain of knowledge, focal point, supporting actor, mother, coach, relief, bringer of water or food, massage therapist, advocate, and natural pain relief. Doulas drastically lower the cesarean rate in the average birth, lowering the rate of any interventions needed that can lead to cesarean as well. She has been educated in terms used by the nurses and doctors so she can explain to the parents what they may not understand. Also, she has been taught and learned from experience several tricks and positions that can be used to relieve pain as well as help stalled labor progress. While she will never speak to the nurses or doctor on her clients' behalf or tell them what to do, a doula will do all she can to help the parents make educated decisions they will be happy with.

A doula also gets more than money from such an opportunity, this is more than just her job. Birth is her passion. One of her greatest dreams will be to help every mother she can to have an empowered birth whether she chooses to have a epidural, has a natural birth, or ends in a c-section. Her task is to help the mother be at ease with the effort she put into her labor and the choices she made. A doula is a servant, she is there to provide comfort in whatever way that may be necessary and she is honored to do so.

That's Life

"It's Life. Just Life. That thing that goes on when you're not there. It’s not one of those things you can fix like you fix your bow tie. Don’t give me those big wet eyes, Raggedy Man."

 -So said Amy Pond to The Doctor in Asylum of the Daleks.

I mentioned before that sometimes it feels like I'm doing everything... and nothing. Along with that feeling comes one I hate.

That I'm missing something while I'm doing everything... and nothing. She's growing before my eyes.

I remember shielding her eyes after they wrapped her all up and my mom brought her over to me. She was crying because she couldn't see because it was so bright. I was crying and I couldn't see because my world just got so much brighter.

I remember the first night she slept 5 hours in one stretch. I thought she was dead. I reached over and she was cold. I flipped out. Quickly, I turned on the light. I won't lie, I poked her. She opened those precious blue eyes and my heart melted all over again. I scooped her up and put her to my breast. She only thought I was comforting her. I needed her.

Her first word. Mama. I was so overjoyed. It felt amazing. My daughter recognized me. She may not have known what "Mama" meant but she knew it was -me-. I was more than a face and a voice and mostly boobs. I had a name, I was Mama.

And her first steps, 3 little ones before she fell on to her butt. I was so astonished. She was just 8.5 months. Not possible. I was so proud but so shocked. I think I blinked and she grew up.

Her first birthday. All green, pink, and brown. Mommy's little cowgirl. She wouldn't tear up the cake. She picked off all the raspberries and shared them with me. Her Mama. Her first love. My heart.

Shortly after she started talking 24/7. (She still hasn't stopped, by the way) She astounded me with her understanding. She was barely ONE! All the songs she could sing. Amazing. That's all she was and is. I was mesmerized.

She turned 2. She danced around in her frilly little skirt I made her. She was SO proud. She showed everyone "My mommy made me this! Mhmm!" and she would nod her head over and over. I was beaming. She danced and she twirled around house. As always, dancing to the beat of her own drum quite literally.

Dragon*Con 2012. Can you say ADORABLE? Red bows in her hair, red bow tie, light blue dress shirt, dark brown pants. She was the Doctor to my TARDIS. To anyone who would listen she said "Me da Doctor!" My little nerdy baby in all her glory. I think my favorite time of all was sitting the food court as "the TARDIS" nursed "the Doctor" to sleep for her nap. Her little cheek against my arm as she dreamed of the vampires, monsters, super heroes, jedis, and other crazy costumes we'd seen so far.

It's just life, my crazy girl. It's you. It's all I need. You are my heart beating. I close my eyes at night, snuggled next to you, and you're all I see. I'm loving watching you grow into such a happy, intelligent, beautiful, little nerdy girl. You've fixed my everything.

Hello...

Hello, I'm the Doctor...

...And the teacher, the chef, the best friend, the dog walker, the taxi cab, the horsey, the boobies, the hugger and kisser, the disciplinarian, the comforter, the gymnasium, the search and rescue team (for toys!), the housekeeper, hair stylist, keeper of secrets, diaper stuffer, toy repair woman, champion tickler, tooth brusher, no sleep zombie, professional lullaby singer, stain removing expert, damsel in distress and hero and dragon, clothes seamstress... and the Single Mom.

I always have this constant feeling that I’m doing nothing while at the exact same time doing EVERYTHING. I guess it comes with being a mommy, or maybe just with being female in general. Squeezing in everything seems next to impossible but once I’m done and I get to take a breath (One breath, mind you!) and I look back I just sigh… Was that enough?

Back at the end of May this year I quit my job. Sound scary? Yep, sure was! I quit my job so I can stay home with my daughter, my Mini E. I rolled up my metaphorical sleeves and made a plan. I decided I'd just sew and keep studying to be a doula. That's what I did. I've been sewing like crazy while watching various nerdy/geeky shows on Netflix (Thank you whoever created it!!) and studying, studying, studying. Let me just say it's all paying off.

Every person has a dream. I'm making mine come true. (Sadly, not the one of traveling through time and space in a bigger-on-the-inside blue box.) It's a fight, it's a struggle, but would I change it? No. Doesn't the Doctor always win in the end?